Love, Choices and Consequences
by roselighted
Summary: When Bella Swan made a choice to seek revenge and justice for a tragedy that occurred in her life, she knew of the consequences that it will bring, she knew that she may have to pay it with her life – it's a risk she is willing take.
1. Preface

When Bella Swan made a choice to seek revenge and justice for a tragedy that occurred in her life, she knew of the consequences that it will bring, she knew that she may have to pay it with her life – it's a risk she is willing take. But along the way, she meets Edward – now love is thrown into the equation. Would she take a chance on love and let Edward in or is the consequences of her choices too great and their love is never meant to be.

This is my first fanfiction story, hope you enjoy. Please review as it will encourage me to continue.

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Preface

I've never given much thought to how I would die – though I'd had reason enough in the last few months, but even if I had I would not have imagined it like this.

I would never have imagined it will end with my betrayal. My choice.…and the consequences of my choices have led me here.

Choices – we are constantly bombarded with it every single day of our lives, and with these choices there are always a loss and gain equation attached. Through our actions or inactions consequences are inevitable. It can be as simple as skipping breakfast in order to get to school or work on time, but at a cost of enduring hunger pains until lunchtime. Or being unfulfilled or unsatisfied at your current job, but still remain there as it is safe – it pays the bills, but never risking it to follow your passion, your dreams, never knowing what if. It can be as complex as risking your life in order to save the life of a stranger. Working long hours so you can provide for your family, but missing out on precious moments or milestones. These choices and consequences can be significant or insignificant, measureable or unmeasureable, conscious or unconscious. Sometimes it is obvious, other times we don't take notice, but it is there. We are all faced with different choices with different factors and leading to different consequences. But at the end of it all, in the face of death we are all presented with same question, the important question – are there any regrets? Would you do things differently?

Well here I am, in the face of death and I can't bring myself to regret the choices I've made. Despite knowing the mess I would leave behind. Given the chance again, I know that I would still make the same choices. This realization only serves to intensify my guilt – that doesn't change. I can handle my death – in a way I've prepared myself for it. Subconsciously I knew this was a possible outcome. Still I took the risk – justice and revenge blind sighted me of anything else including my safety. But what I wasn't prepared for was Edward. I never expected to fall in love. Nor did I expect to betray that love. Why does fate have to be so cruel as to complicate and intertwine my choices, consequences and love so immensely? Their existence is a result of one another.

I never have believed in true love – soul mates, until now. Though my actions and choices have led me to my death, it also led me to Edward – to my soul mate – I believe this with every fiber in my body. The love I've shared with Edward is so far beyond any of my expectations. I am at least very grateful that life have let me experience this love. This is what I am grieving for, not my death.

I close my eyes – an automatic response to the sensory overload I'm feeling at this moment. At this moment I didn't care about the physical pain my body is experiencing. At this moment I didn't care that my breathing has become more erratic and difficult. At this moment I didn't care about the stinging sensation my eyes are experiencing. The only thing that I'm acutely aware of is my emotion – my guilt. I can feel it coursing through my body, completely consuming me. Just thinking about my betrayal - instantly my heart becomes heavy. Tears begin to slide down my cheeks.

_I'm sorry…I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. Please understand._

"I love you….I love you Edward." I can faintly hear myself utter those words. My voice sounded raspy and final.

But what surprise me is how disconnected my voice sounded from my body. It strangely sounded foreign to me.

I started to feel lighter, can feel myself drifting off. The noises around me begin to fade. I now notice I can't feel any pain my body was experiencing moments ago – my body now feels numb. I twist my head trying to focus on the fire in front of me. But even that too becomes blurry – it too begins to fade.

Again a strong sense of disconnection overcomes me. No longer aware of my surroundings or my body, I feel myself drifting away.

It now feels like I'm falling …falling into darkness….


	2. Chapter 1

Hope you enjoy, feel free to review.

Disclaimer – all characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, other than that the story is my own.

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It feels like I've been standing here for hours staring at my reflection through the mirror. But in reality it's probably only been fifteen to twenty minutes. Trying to calm down my senses was harder and becoming more of an effort than I had anticipated.

I can hear and feel my heart rate beating faster and faster, the thumping noise ringing in my ears. My hands begin to shake.

My emotions and fears becomes harder and harder to contain. This is not how I'd picture my first day working at Volturi Pharmaceuticals. An anxiety attack right now cannot be an option. I knew that I have been nervous and had my reservations about this, but it has finally hit me of how scared I am. It's too late to back out of the plan now.

Regardless of what will happen I will ride this through right to the end. Nothing else matters.

While trying to lock up my fears at the back of my mind, slowly I can feel my determination starting to take hold. I close my eyes, taking deep slow breaths; my hands are fist together now – willing my heart rate to decrease.

_Come on Bella you can do this. You have to do this._

Again and again I chant this phase into my head, trying to psych myself up. I now can physically and emotionally feel myself calm down. My heart tempo slows down along with my breathing.

My eyes flutter open, a few more deep breaths - _inhale, exhale._ I'm good to go now.

I grabbed my coat and my bag which are laying on the edge of my bed and headed out the door. Volturi is going to pay for what they did. Nothing is going to stop me expose the truth and bring them down.

**Xoxoxoxoxo**

"Tell me you're kidding Emmett"

"Come on Edward, all I'm saying is think about it." Emmett quickly interjected.

Edward slouches further down on his chair, stares intently at Emmett and shakes his head. "This is my job here – I can't mix it with yours."

"All I want you to do is be my eyes and ears – let me know of any odd or strange transactions, interactions or behavior. Your involvement will be nothing more."

"All this is from a hunch you've got. It's not even an official case you're working on….your boss will be on your back so fast…."

"Look Edward," Emmett cuts in with a louder tone, "I don't need a lecture from you. It's more than a hunch, a work colleague and a good friend of _ours_ was murdered and I'm certain it is somehow linked with the Volturi Pharmaceuticals case he previously worked on."

"But the reports officially ruled it as an accidental death."

"I don't give a fuck about those reports. They're a set up too." Emmett is now up from his chair and pacing the room.

With his hands rubbing his forehead, in a softer and exasperated tone, "I don't need you to tell me what's fact and what's fiction; I will find the truth with or without your help."

I can feel waves of tension radiating from Emmett from across the room. Trying to reason with my brother, "I just think you're chasing a lost cause here, don't jeopardize your job over it – you've worked hard to get where you are, I just don't want to see you lose it all." With a few deep breaths I continued "but I will think about it."

Hoping that last sentence will somewhat relax Emmett.

I can physically see the frown on my brother's forehead disappear; his body language seems to be more relaxed as he returns to his chair. Glad that I have in some way subdued Emmett for the time being, I made a mental note to talk to Alice and try to get her to help reason with Emmett before he does anything stupid. I just hope that Alice can knock some sense into Emmett.

Emmett is a great lawyer, but sometimes his emotions rules over his head and it has previously landed him in sticky situations. Alice maybe a pixie little thing, but when she is determined or angry about something, Emmett and I mostly crumble around her and let her have her way. We would always have a soft spot for our baby sister.

Sensing that Emmett is now much more relaxed, I needed to think of ways to change the subject. Before I was about to process what I was thinking it was out of my mouth, and as soon as I heard myself I regretted it. "Let's blow off some steam tonight, I'll call Jasper, we'll meet up at a pub, drown some alcohol – just unwind."

I can see a smile crept up on Emmett, his obvious dimples making me groan, his thought process so obvious on his face. I can read Emmett like a book.

I throw up my hands, "Before you say anything, I don't want you or Jasper setting me up with anyone, I don't _need_ or want a relationship at the moment. I'm sick of the complication that comes along with it." I've been avoiding hanging out with my best friend Jasper and Emmett lately, tired of them trying to hook me up with every available female.

Emmett starts chuckling and this only starts to annoy and irritate me further.

"Come on Edward, it's been four months since you and Tanya broke up, which by the way when I say this – I speak for everyone, we are _all_ _happy _about. That girl was not just only a _complication_ as you put it, but a bitch as.…"

"Emmetttt" I said in a warning tone.

"Hey," Emmett puts his hands up in a surrender like gesture, "We all could tell you weren't happy in that relationship for a long time, what amazes me is that you were together for nearly two fucking years."

Emmett then leans forward until his eyes are leveled with mine and holding eye focus, then smirks, "She must be hot in bed to keep you going back for more, despite her personality flaws." The grin now, even wider on his face.

"I'm not going to discuss my sex life with you, you're worse than gossiping teenage girls."

Plus I didn't want to admit to him that he is right and that my relationship with Tanya was more of a convenient physical nature. I thought that maybe over time it will lead to love, the realization that there was no emotion involved and the fact that I've let it go on for so long ashamed me, especially with how it ended. The fact that the relationship ended badly was an understatement.

Emmett stares at me with a knowing expression, I don't need to explain to him – he knows what my relationship with Tanya was like, and he would always look out for me. He simply nods letting me know that he won't push it.

"Besides….." Emmett continued, "Who said anything about finding you a girlfriend, you don't need help in that department, I was just suggesting that you should just get laid man. Fuck bro, this shouldn't be hard as women are always throwing themselves at you."

I was about to protest but Emmett sensing my hesitation quickly interjected, "Come on Edward, it's been over four months since you had any action. With the amount of work load you are carrying, the stress and the sexual frustration," he pauses then waves his hands at me as if making a point. "It's bound to leave behind pent up negative energy, which by the way is hazardous for your health."

"You're a doctor; you know this, so just look at it as an outlet for your body to release those all-important endorphins, oxytocin, dopamine and those other chemical reactions or neurotransmitters shit, and all the while enjoying the _ride _along the way."

"Plus it would be nice to hang out with you without your sleep deprived, semi depressive, brooding, highly stressed out moods you are always in….sooo I see it as a win – win situation. Sex will make you sleep better, your stress level goes down, you're be happier not to mention the orgasm and we'll be able to enjoy hanging out with the old happier Edward."

I couldn't help but chuckle at Emmett's reasoning, trust him to turn some meaningless, random, one night stand sex escapade into a positive.

"I don't know whether to be impress by that speech of yours or horrified by it," my chuckle turns into laughter when Emmett gives me a satisfied mischievous smirk.

"You do know that lots of meaningless, unattached sex can actually lead to depression and or more stress."

Emmett rolls his eyes, and gives me that '_whatever'_ look.

"I wonder what your _girlfriend_ Rosalie will think of your opinion in that matter."

The panic that instantly replaces Emmett smile has me laughing even louder.

"Joking, I'm joking man, but seriously let's just enjoy hanging out together, ok? No setups, just you, me, Jasper and alcohol."


End file.
